March 31: Still in a commercial phase

Ok, what about this one? Am I the only one that thinks the tongues on those cereal bits are somewhat obscene? BTW, that Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I may never eat it again.


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 30: Now THIS commercial amuses me

The latest Snickers campaign with celebrities is pretty good. I thought the one with Betty White and Abe Vigoda (he's not dead?) was funny, but I like the one with Aretha Franklin even better. Google it.



---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 29: Is this weird?

My soon-to-be ex-husband and I are getting along better than we have in a long time. We go to the mall together, have lunch together, talk on the phone, and text. We confide in each other more and share aspects of our lives and personal feelings that we didn't do before.

I actually like being around him now. My friends...mostly the bitter ones who went through a bad divorce...say that our relationship is weird and can't last. That we'll end up hating each other.

I don't see that happening.


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 28: Old Navy

Am I the only person out there who thinks the Old Navy "modelkins" commercials are seriously the lamest campaign running right now? I didn't think they could get worse but they've added live actors.

Wow.

---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 27: Add it to the shopping list

Six weeks after moving in to my apartment I went to cook something that required a large frying pan with a lid. That's not something I have, so I improvised.






---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 26: Divorce stats

In the United States, over 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages end in divorce, and nearly 74% of third marriages end in divorce.

Eighty-one percent of happily married couples said their partner’s friends and family rarely interfered with the relationship, compared to just 38% of unhappy couples.

No sex in a marriage has a much more powerful negative impact on a marriage than good sex has a positive impact.

Oh, and today would've been our 16th anniversary.

---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 25: The cat I don't own

I really need to find out where this cat belongs.



---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 24: 90% off

Went to Kohls today to look at some wall art in the current circular and ended up buying this quilt instead. I couldn't pass it up; it was 90% off! I paid $15; it was originally $150.

I have to say, I would never pay $150 for that quilt. I actually think it's a tiny bit ugly. But $15? Hell, yeah!



---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 23: Well, that was weird

Went to Ulta to buy some cosmetics today and ended up laying on a table getting a mini facial. Once I got over the initial weirdness of doing this in the back of a retail store, it ended up feeling pretty good. Very relaxing.

And my face looks pretty good, too.

---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 22: I do not have a cat.

However, there is a cat who thinks he lives here. He sits outside my door and meows all day long. Today he dashed in and wouldn't leave.

He is very friendly. I wish I knew where he belonged. I'd keep him but I'm not up for paying the $400 pet deposit.

I've asked the management about him, nobody has a clue where he belongs.

Weird. All I know for sure is I don't have a cat.

---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 21: Is my life boring?

Today my lover stopped by my apartment for a brief visit. He is very busy; there aren't enough hours in the day for him to complete all the tasks he sets for himself.

As we were visiting he commented on how boring my life seemed; that I really didn't seem to have much going on right now. When he said it, at first I felt bad about it. I felt like I should do something to make things seem more interesting.

After he left I thought about it some more. And yeah, perhaps my life is a little bit in the dull side right now. But I'm ok with that. For years and years I felt like I was always being pulled in different directions. I felt like I was always being called to settle things between my husband and our son.

Right now I'm enjoying the quietness of my little apartment. I'm enjoying doing what I want when I want, eating what I want, going where I want. Right now I feel relaxed. I feel like I can breathe again.

My lover provides all the excitement I need in my life right now. I miss my kids, but otherwise I'm content to walk on the mild side at this stage of my life.

---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 20: I, palindrome, I

Today I read that aibohphobia (eye-bow-phobia) is the fear of palindromes (words that read the same forwards and backwards). Ironically, the word itself is also a palindrome.

It seemed unlikely that anyone would have a fear of palindromes so I did further research. It would appear that aibohphobia is a joke term.

If it really does exist, however, would it be treated with Xanax?


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 19: All hooked up

Just got my IV hooked up for my nose/throat procedure. I'm about a half hour away from surgery. Good times!






---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 18: Nervous

I have a couple of minor surgical procedures scheduled tomorrow to help with my snoring and sleep apnea. I'm a little nervous. I'm sure I'll be fine, though.

Tomorrow's entry should be interesting.


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 17: Stepping outside my comfort zone

I'm going to a St Patrick's Day party at a bar tonight. By myself. Where I will only know one other person who will probably be very busy. This is so far outside my comfort zone that it's not even on the same planet. But I can't stay home every night watching tv, right?

Wish me luck.


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 16: Outside the bedroom window

---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 15: Stephen King

A friend and I were talking about books today and got in the subject of Stephen King. He asked what my favorite SK book was and I said The Stand. He agreed that it was one of his favorites, as well.

We also both liked the mini-series adaptation that came out several years ago. This actually got pretty negative reviews, but I don't care. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

There was a time that SK was my favorite author. I read everything he wrote. Lately, though, I've lost interest in his novels. I don't know if my tastes have changed or if King's writing style has changed.

Maybe I should give him another shot.


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 14: This cartoon scares me

What is wrong with this cartoon? It has always annoyed me because the male cows have female udders. And now they are cross-dressing?? I can't even wrap my brain around it.


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 13: One month

A month ago today I moved into my apartment. It's hard to believe it has already been that long.

It still doesn't seem real to me. I keep waiting for something to happen but then I realize that this IS my life now.

I cry a lot now. I think I've shed more tears in the last month than I did all last year. I miss my kids and feel like I'm losing them. I try to reach out to them but they don't seem to be interested. Everyone says give them time, which is what I'm trying to do. But it's still hard.

I'm trying to be happy but it's just so damn hard.




---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 12: I got nothing

When I started this blog thing I thought I'd have more to write about. But I've come to the conclusion that my life is pretty damn boring.

I'm going to have to come up with a list of interesting topics. Any suggestions?


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 11: Online dating...?

Recently I signed up with 2-3 online dating sites. I have a friend who gets a lot of "action" that way and my brother's experience is practically legendary.

In 24 hours I have had the following things happen:

1. A 23 YO man sent me a message asking if I like younger men. I might consider someone younger but half my age seems to be pushing it.
2. I've been contacted twice by men who claim they are Americans working in S. Africa but can't get their paycheck cashed in order to buy a plane ticket to come home. They love me a lot and would love to come back to the states to start our new life if only they had the money.
3. My soon-to-be ex has shown up as a match for me.

Are there any normal people out there online, or just us losers who can't get a date?

Update: one of the stranded Americans just tried to contact me on a different site. Seriously? I have the same name and pictures.

---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 10: I'm shocked

I can't believe what I did today. Lately I've been surprising myself quite a bit.

I'd go into details but I don't want to embarrass or incriminate others.

In order to remember this later, though, I will just say "parking lot".


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 9: Anger sucks

I am very angry tonight. Extremely angry. Originally I was going to write about the specifics of why I'm angry but I don't think it's a good idea to go into details. Maybe after I calm down.

Maybe. I'm sure I'm going to be angry a lot over the next few months. I need to figure out how to work through it so it doesn't consume me.




---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 8: Hail

The weather people this morning were forecasting hail for later today. It was such a gorgeous day I figured they were all smoking dope.

Just now I heard something hitting my office window. Yep. Hail. It's over already though.

---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 7: Watching TV with friends...long distance

My friend, Mark, is a cameraman in LA and works the E! red carpet show with Ryan Seacrest. Today, while watching the red carpet show, I "chatted" on Facebook with my friend (and his wife) Bari.

So fun! We snarked about all the horrible dresses, discussed who we thought was hot, and talked about personal issues, as well.

Bari is a good friend, I'm glad I have her in my life.

---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 6: Chivalry is not dead?

I was out auditing a merchandiser's work at a store yesterday. I had pulled all the way through the two spaces in the parking lot and was nose out.

As I was heading back to my car another vehicle pulled in next to mine, facing the opposite direction. A young man in a suit got out, and proceeded to spit towards my car, hitting the driver's side door.

I was just about to my car at the time and said, "Dude, not cool!". He said, "I'm so sorry!" and wiped off my car with his sleeve. His suit sleeve.

Niiiice.


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 5: Great deal!

A local grocery store opened a new location this week and mailed out coupons. I got all of this for $38.
The food items, that is.


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 4: Dolphins

Tossed and turned all night. Woke up every couple of hours. This last time I woke up from a dream about dolphins.

This is what the "Dream Dictionary" says about that:

"To see a dolphin in your dream, symbolizes spiritual guidance, your intellect, mental attributes and trust. Utilize your mind to its capacity and you will move upward in life. Alternatively, it suggests that a line of communication has been established between the conscious and unconscious aspects of yourself. Dolphins represent your willingness and ability to explore and navigate through your emotions.

To dream that you are riding a dolphin, represents your optimism and social altruism."

My mental state is pretty fragile right now. I wonder how those dolphins expect me to navigate through my emotions.

---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 3: The thing most on my mind

Today I am writing about the subject that is always on my mind...the fact that I am in a new relationship. If you follow my blog you know that my husband and I have recently separated and I just got my own place a couple weeks ago so me being involved with a new man already probably comes as a bit of a shock.

I actually started seeing X before Ed and I split up. Before we even talked about splitting up. I know that wasn't a nice thing to do. I had decided I wanted a divorce before X. I wasn't fair to Ed, though, and didn't tell him how I was feeling. For that I'm sorry.

X and I reconnected on Facebook. We have a shared history and it didn't take any time at all before we were writing each other long messages and talking for hours in the phone. We decided to meet for coffee. I was a little nervous about meeting him face to face after so many years but it turned out to be very comfortable. I enjoyed talking to him quite a bit.

It wasn't long before our conversations turned towards sex. We made it clear to each other that we shared an attraction for each other and pretty quickly ended up in bed together.

The sex has been terrific. The best I've had, in fact. I can't get enough of him. We can spend hours making love and talking and making love some more. It's wonderful. Being with him makes me feel terrific.

However, there is a catch. X is married. And has a young child that he adores. I'm the "other woman". I can't contact him in the evenings or on weekends. I can't make plans with him for any time in the future. We sneak in time when we can. I can't really put any demands on him. It doesn't help that we live an hour away from each other.

My brother says i should end things immediately Most of my friends say I need do what I need to be happy. One is a mistress, herself, so we talk about the realities of it. She tells me I need to accept the fact that he'll probably never leave his wife. She asks me if that is something I'm prepared to deal with.

I can't honestly answer that. I can't imagine not having him in my life now. The thought of it causes my blood to run cold. But I can't predict the future; nobody can.

Today is his anniversary. Most of the time I take an ostrich approach to the fact that he is married. I bury my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist. Once in a while, though, something comes along that shoves it right in my face. Today I feel like our relationship is more vulnerable than it has ever been.

Tomorrow we will talk and he will reassure me. Tomorrow I will remember that I'm getting a piece of him that his wife never will; that he and I share something pretty amazing.

But this is tonight.


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 2: Second story view

This is the view I have when I sit in my office chair with my feet up. I have a second floor apartment, and my apartment has a loft, which is where my office is. The trees outside are very tall.

A hawk hangs out in the tree on the right. See the open section on the right, almost halfway down in the picture? It sits there quite often. It was there when I got the idea for the picture but it flew off.


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010

March 1: Oh no

Almost missed one. That wouldve been a very bad thing.

Reminds me of a song: Chris Isaak's Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing.

YouTube it. It's not bad.


---Posting from my iPhone every day in 2010